A Grandparent’s Reflections on the Experience of Raising Grandchildren

A few years ago, local resident Rick Barree wrote a powerful and poignant article for The Good Life about the challenges of raising a grandchild. As part of Caregiver Month, we are sharing some of his comments in honor of all the older people caring for children in our community.

Rick’s journey as a grandparent raising his grandchildren highlights the profound challenges and resilience involved in such an undertaking. In his reflections, Barree emphasizes that taking on parental roles for grandchildren—often due to the destructive impact of addiction on their own children—requires unyielding commitment. “As grandparents, it has taken 100% of our efforts in our daily lives to do the work that is necessary to bring these innocent, young children back from the darkness into the light,” he shares. This reflection illustrates the emotional toll and intense focus that was needed to support and nurture his grandchildren in the face of adversity.

Since beginning his journey in 2018, Barree found support through the “Grandparents’ Group” hosted by Valuing Our Children in Athol. These weekly meetings have become a critical outlet for grandparents like him. Barree describes these gatherings as safe spaces where participants “lay it all out for 90 minutes” and leave feeling a bit lighter, knowing they’re not alone in this struggle. The group offers not only emotional relief but also practical support, such as free backpacks filled with school supplies and connections to other essential services like counseling for the children and advice on accessing needed resources.

The logistical demands of raising grandchildren are immense, and Barree notes the strain of coordinating “doctor, dentist, therapist, and specialist appointments,” on top of day-to-day tasks like meal prep, laundry, and school activities. While younger parents typically handle these responsibilities, grandparents in this role are often “older folks, pushing sixty,” and Barree recognizes the unique physical and emotional fatigue that comes with shouldering these obligations later in life.

In addition to logistical and emotional challenges, Barree highlights the financial and relational tolls. Many grandparents, he observes, face financial constraints that limit their ability to take even brief breaks. He also addresses the strain on marriages, noting that the intense focus on the children can leave little time or energy for maintaining relationships. “It’s like we are working so hard to help out these young kids that we lose track of one another,” he writes, capturing the quiet sacrifices that often go unrecognized.

Ultimately, Barree calls for systemic support for grandparents raising grandchildren. He suggests the need for respite programs that would provide paid breaks for caregivers, including qualified child care during these times, along with other support options like subsidized gym memberships or activity vouchers. As Barree poignantly observes, grandparents like him are performing an invaluable service, ensuring that their grandchildren grow up in stable, supportive environments despite their parents’ struggles.

If you are an older relative caring for a child and could use some support, please contact us at 413-773-5555 or info@LifePathMA.org, or reach out to these programs:

• Valuing Our Children, serving Athol and surrounding areas: 978-249-8467
• United Arc, serving Montague and surrounding areas: 413-774-5558